Going through a breakup, will be one of the hardest things any of us have to face. I recently went through a breakup with someone I had been with for nearly 5 years. I have always been a positive person, but when you all of a sudden loose someone after all those years, it can be hard to always see the positive in the situation. The breakup I went through was a mutual decision. I care about him, and I always will, but we weren’t IN love anymore. The spark had completely gone, and it’s not fair on either parties to remain in a relationship where, although they may be comfortable, they aren’t being fulfilled.
The first thing to remember after a breakup, is you don’t need to rush into anything. Whether that be dating again or removing your exes pictures from your phone. If you have suffered a bad break-up, and you are dealing with anger, just think before you do anything irrational. I have a photo wall, and I still have a couple of pictures of me and my ex up. I don’t find the pictures a sad memory, they are just a memory from a chapter in my life that is now passed. I will take the pictures down when I feel ready, and no one but me, has a right to tell me otherwise. What I am trying to say is, sometimes it can feel more abrupt when you just get rid of everything related to you ex. It feels like you are just getting rid of a huge part of your life. So, take your time. Acknowledge the good times, and accept it is time for a new start.
Another positive aspect to focus on is all the time you can now focus on yourself. I am going to sound soooo cliche, but you really do need to be 100% confident in who you are, in order to give 100% to someone else. I was in a relationship for a long time, and I think my ex would back me up in saying that I am always the bottom of my list, in terms of priority. I was so unhappy in some aspects of me, personally, but just never changed anything. Why? Probably because I was so comfortable with someone, and I knew they loved me exactly for who I was. Which is sad. I wasn’t being the best version of a girlfriend I could have been, and I wasn’t being the best version of me, for me. Now that i am single, I know a couple of things I want to change/improve about myself before I even think of going on a date. For example, I have finally booked an appointment with a dentist to discuss teeth whitening a potentially replacing my front tooth. I have wanted to do this for years, and I am going to bloody do it, FOR ME!
Now it’s time to focus on what you want from someone else. It’s okay to look at your past relationship, no matter how happy you were, and figuring out areas of which you would like improving in your next relationship. I am 27 now (wahh) and I certainly know what I do and don’t want, and I am not going to lower my standards for anyone. And I am really excited about the prospect of who I could meet, and what they could add to my life.
I promise you, however bad you may feel, their is always light at the end of the tunnel. Focus on the positives and what you learnt from your ex and your break-up, and how you can move forward.